“A man establishes rules and boundaries. He is in control, not controlling; dominant, not domineering. He disagrees but is not disagreeable. He is always firm but fair—kind, not easy.”
— The God Pill
“Controlling” and “in control” are related concepts but carry different connotations and are utilized in various contexts.
“Controlling” typically refers to an overbearing manner of directing others, while “in control” implies the ability to manage or handle situations EFFECTIVELY and CALMLY.
A controlling man dictates every aspect of his relationship, whereas a man in control subtly orchestrates situations and events so that intended outcomes appear to fall into place NATURALLY, all by themselves.
A man in control is CONFIDENT and COMPETENT, while a controlling man is not.
Controlling:
- Definition: Imposing influence over; issuing commands, ultimatums, and sometimes threats.
- Connotation: Often has a negative implication, stemming from insecurity or doubt, suggesting excessive or oppressive direction or regulation.
- Example: He has a controlling personality, always dictating what others should do.
In Control:
- Definition: Having the power to manage or guide; having restraint.
- Connotation: Generally positive, suggesting stability, competence, confidence, and the ability to effectively lead.
- Example: Even in heated arguments, he remains in control and handles situations calmly.
“Obligated compliance never leads to genuine desire.”
— Red Pill Maxim
“Let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.”
— Eph. 5:33, ESV
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