Self-Mastery

Will Abstinence Kill Our Intimacy?

You're asking the wrong question.

The question isn't, "Will abstinence hurt our intimacy?" It's, "How do we honor and obey God?"

That's part of what it means to take up your cross. Following Christ means God gets your obedience—

—even when obedience costs you something you deeply desire.

A divided heart asks, "How much can I keep and still follow God?" A man after God's heart asks, "What does God require of me?"

And as the man, this starts with self-governance and responsibility—especially when the temptation isn't coming from you.

Often the hardest test comes when she loses her resolve, initiates, and pulls you toward the very thing you've both agreed to leave behind. Don't repeat Adam's failure: when she reaches for what God forbids, don't follow her into it.

Scripture says flee sexual immorality. Your job is to hold the line even when she wants to cross it. A disciplined man governs himself, covers his woman, and leads the relationship away from temptation rather than deeper into it.

As for intimacy: taking sex away may reveal that there's far more substance underneath your relationship than you realized—

—or it may reveal the harder truth: sex was doing the work of intimacy, masking how little substance the relationship actually has.

Either way, you need to know the truth before you put a ring on her finger.

And one thing even more important than the sexual question: you're both exploring Christianity. Before marriage, find out whether you're merely adopting Christian values or actually following Christ.

God first. Relationship second. Desire in its proper place.

"For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality."
— 1 Thessalonians 4:3 (ESV)

✠ P.S. If you've ever promised God "never again" and still folded when temptation was right in front of you, you know the gap between conviction and self-control. You can't lead her toward Christ while letting desire lead you. Inside The Kingdom Council 🏛️, you'll find brothers who won't excuse your compromises—or leave you to fight alone. Join us.

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Do You Hate Women?

By Ryan M. Maes Leave a Comment

"Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering."
— Master Yoda

Listen…

Women can sense your NEGATIVITY a mile away—

—and it REPELS them.

And the more you repel women, the angrier you become—

—and the angrier you become, the more you repel women, and so on.

It's a vicious circle, a negative feedback loop—a self-fulfilling prophecy.

This DOWNWARD SPIRAL feeds upon itself and compounds, trapping you in a perpetual vortex of misery, despair, frustration, and LONELINESS...

...and a lonely, desperate, angry man is an UNATTRACTIVE man.

So, don't be a "neckbeard" and let 👉 "RED PILL RAGE" 👈 consume you.

It's up to you to BREAK THE CYCLE. 💪

Whoever has ears, let them HEAR.

"A man who loves women is loved by women."
— Zan Perrion

"As a lily among brambles, so is my love among the young women."
— Song of Solomon 2:2 (ESV)

✠ P.S. If waking up to the truth has left you rattled, angry, or unsure what to do next, this is not confusion—it is what happens when structure collapses. Men do not lose control because they lack information; they lose it when internal order breaks down. Inside The Kingdom Council 🏛️, men rebuild structure and reassert self-command—together. Because chaos does not strengthen men—it exposes them.

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Married and Flirty: Is She Ready to Cheat?

By Ryan M. Maes Leave a Comment

"I met this married woman through cold approach and got her number. We text every day, and every time I try to flirt with her, she tells me to stop because she is married. We have a great connection; she tells me secrets, and I tell her mine. Will she ever leave her husband for me? I'm starting to fall for her, but she treats me as a friend. She gives me IOIs through text and invests in the conversation with me a lot. What does that mean? Is she thinking of cheating or just being friends with a stranger she never met?"
— Freddy Clemente, private group member

⚠️ PAUSE! ⚠️

Put the BRAKES on, my brother.

Get ahold of yourself.

Rise above your primal urges—

—and think with the RIGHT HEAD.

👉 REPENT! 👈

Consider how following through with this fantasy will damage your INTEGRITY—

—your confidence, competence, and conscience—

—and your VALUE as a man…

Is this the LEGACY you want to leave behind?

Is this the type of man you want to become?

Pursuing another man's wife is the definition of LOW-VALUE.

Don't be a BOTTOM FEEDER. 🦐

Stop lusting over low-hanging, forbidden fruit. 🍎🪱

A high-value man who has leveled up and done the work will always have OPTIONS—

—and, right now, it's clear you don't.

You are operating from SCARCITY because you haven't done the HARD WORK: you haven't leveled up your fitness, finances, finesse, and faith.

You haven't become a man you can be PROUD OF—

Remember

"If she cheats with you, she'll cheat on you."

Again, if she cheats with you, she'll cheat on you.

It's true; she may cheat on her husband either way—with or without you—but that's on her.

Don't be Satan's PAWN in her debauchery.

Never forget: What you sow in defiance, you'll reap in destruction.

For of this you can be sure:

"Your sin will find you out" (Num. 32:23).

"But each [man] is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire."
— James 1:14 (ESV)

✠ P.S. If you are chasing women who never choose you—or worse, realizing no woman chooses you at all—this is not bad luck. It is cause and effect. The Kingdom Council 🏛️ is where you stop seeking approval and forge yourself into a man women respond to without persuasion. Because women do not follow potential—they follow power.

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Join The Kingdom Council—or get personalized video feedback directly from me ↗️

How to Communicate Like a High-Value Man

By Ryan M. Maes Leave a Comment

"You have to learn how to talk and not be a nerd. You can't be nervous. You must watch your energy; you can't be too thirsty. You must know how to say the right things and lead the conversation... I have just described game."
— The God Pill

Setting the Stage for Engagement and Reconnecting
- ❌ Instead of saying, "Hey, what's up?"
  ✅ Say, "The most amazing thing just happened..."
- ❌ Instead of saying, "How have you been?"
  ✅ Say, "I've missed our conversations."
Initiating Action and Creating Opportunities
- ❌ Instead of saying, "When are you free?"
  ✅ Say, "I'm free on Tuesday or Thursday."
- ❌ Instead of saying, "What are you doing tonight?"
  ✅ Say, "I have tickets to a show this evening. Join me?"
- ❌ Instead of saying, "What do you want to do?"
  ✅ Say, "I have a plan..."
Constructive Communication and Collaboration
- ❌ Instead of saying, "I don't know what to do."
  ✅ Say, "I could use your insight on this."
- ❌ Instead of saying, "I hate my boss."
  ✅ Say, "How would you approach a situation like this?"
- ❌ Instead of saying, "I've had a bad day,"
  ✅ Say, "I've faced some hurdles, but I can't complain."
Expressing Empathy and Flexibility
- ❌ Instead of saying, "Sorry I didn't respond."
  ✅ Say, "It's been a crazy day, but I'm free now."
- ❌ Instead of saying, "What's wrong?"
  ✅ Say, "I'm here for you if you need to talk."
Positive Reframing
- ❌ Instead of saying, "Why are you so flaky?"
  ✅ Say, "I appreciate your effort, but I made other plans."
- ❌ Instead of saying, "Why are you treating me this way?"
  ✅ Say, "I have rules and boundaries."
- ❌ Instead of saying, "Stop playing games."
  ✅ Say, "I enjoy a challenge."
Closing with Quiet Confidence and Grace
- ❌ Instead of saying, "Did you get my message?"
  ✅ Say, 👉 NOTHING 👈.

"If a picture is worth a thousand words, silence is worth a thousand pictures."
— The God Pill

Remember

A MAN OF ABUNDANCE never responds with bitterness, hostility, anger, or resentment—even when she's flaky or plays mind games.

Keep your emotions in check and your eyes on—

YOUR MISSION! 💪

"You shall make your mission, not your woman, the focus. When you make your woman the focus, she becomes an idol, which is sin."
— The God Pill

✠ P.S. If you are tired of overthinking every word, freezing up around women, and replaying conversations in your head, this is the truth: women do not feel attraction to hesitation—they respond to conviction. The Kingdom Council 🏛️ trains you to stop talking yourself out of the moment and start speaking with clarity, presence, and authority. Because if you cannot lead a conversation, you will not lead her.

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Meekness Is Not Weakness

By Ryan M. Maes Leave a Comment

"Anybody can become angry—that is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way—that is not within everybody's power and is not easy."
― Aristotle

Men today are REDEFINING terms.

They are saying that Jesus was the MEEKEST man alive—

—and what they mean by this is that He's some sort of SISSY, some kind of Gandhi, some type of Buddhist whipping boy—"you can hit me, but I'll never fight back."

"I'll NEVER raise my hand."

It's always this soft, LIMP-WRISTED nonsense.

A flamboyantly effeminate, limp-wristed yellow hand.

These individuals frequently misquote verses about "turning the other cheek."

"Most morality is cowardice in the guise of morality."
— Friedrich Nietzsche, German philosopher

They become pacifists because they think that's what meekness is—

—and that's NOT what meekness is.

Meekness is not weakness.

Meekness is strength under control.

Again, meekness isn't weakness; it's strength under control.

Meekness is a man who can CRUSH YOU 💪, but he's got enough control over his spirit and emotions that he won't.

He could, but he WON'T.

The Bible says, "Be ye angry, and sin not" (Eph. 4:26).

Our Lord Jesus experienced anger, and yet He was without sin (Heb. 4:15).

He spoke as one with 👉 AUTHORITY 👈 (Matt. 7:23)—always humble yet confident, patient yet resolute.

—and that's where the VIRTUE lies.

Never mistake Christ's tolerance for ACCEPTANCE—

—or His patience for PASSIVITY.

"Whoever is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city."
— Proverbs 16:32 (ESV)

"Do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather fear him who can destroy both soul and body in hell."
— Matthew 10:28 (ESV)

✠ P.S. If you are tired of getting talked over, shrinking in conversations, and replaying what you should have said after the moment has passed, this is the truth: hesitation is not harmless—it trains others to lead while you follow. The Kingdom Council 🏛️ is where men drop the nice-guy mask and speak with clarity, confidence, and charisma.

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Join The Kingdom Council—or get personalized video feedback directly from me ↗️

Sacrifice Today, Reap Tomorrow: Why Your Dreams Demand Discipline

By Ryan M. Maes Leave a Comment

"All his life has he looked away... to the future, to the horizon. Never his mind on where he was. Hmm? What he was doing. Hmph! Adventure. Heh! Excitement. Heh! You are reckless!"
— Master Yoda

You have a choice to make: either sacrifice temporary fun for your permanent dreams or sacrifice your permanent dreams for TEMPORARY FUN.

Many are willing to sacrifice their permanent dreams for temporary fun—

—but you must be willing to sacrifice temporary fun, which is fleeting, for your PERMANENT DREAMS.

"So then, let us not be like others, who are asleep, but let us be awake and sober."
— 1 Thessalonians 5:6 (NIV)

As a man, your ability to DELAY GRATIFICATION is critical for LONG-TERM success in any endeavor in life.

Mastering this ability will teach you the fundamentals of MASCULINITY, which are self-sacrifice, discipline, perseverance, and doing the hard work—regardless of how you feel.

"Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope."
— Romans 5:3-4 (ESV)

Remember

Anything WORTH HAVING almost always hurts you upfront but then gives you long-term pleasure—

—but anything that gives you pleasure upfront almost alway hurts you long-term.

In other words, pain in the front end equals PLEASURE in the back end—

—and pleasure in the front end equals PAIN in the back end.

"They do it to [for] a prize that will fade away, but we do it for an eternal prize."
— 1 Corinthians 9:25 (NLT)

✠ P.S. If you are tired of wasting time, scrolling instead of building, and watching your potential rot while you promise yourself you will start tomorrow, this is the truth: Cheap dopamine does not just steal time—it steals the man you were meant to become. Enter the Kingdom Council 🏛️—a brotherhood where men place discipline over distraction. Because a man who cannot control his focus cannot control his future.

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Enter The Kingdom Council ➜

⚠️ Stop drifting. Start building.
Join The Kingdom Council—or get personalized video feedback directly from me ↗️

Stop Seeking Approval!

By Ryan M. Maes Leave a Comment

"An Authentic Man is non-reactive. He doesn't let the opinions of others influence or discourage him. He is always sure of himself and his convictions because his ally is truth. He strives for excellence, not acceptance, because he knows that winners look internally, but losers look externally."
— The God Pill

Women seek approval—NOT MEN.

Women seek acceptance—NOT MEN.

Women seek validation—NOT MEN.

Your objective is to find merit in your own efforts, incentives, and values—and trust God and your internal scorecard rather than the opinions of others.

Because if God is your inspiration, He becomes your VALIDATION—

—and when God is your validation, He becomes your VINDICATION.

So, strive for EXCELLENCE, not acceptance, because Winners look internally, but losers look externally.

Focus on the CONTROLLABLE and let go of the UNCONTROLLABLE, since pain is inevitable—

—but suffering is VOLUNTARY.

It may feel like it's you versus the world—

—but it's really just you versus yourself.

Remember: Never let the warfare around you become the warfare WITHIN you.

"You will continue to suffer if you have an emotional reaction to everything that is said to you. True power is sitting back and observing everything with logic. If words control you, that means everyone else can control you. Breathe and allow things to pass."
— Commonly attributed to Bruce Lee

✠ P.S. Carrying the weight of manhood alone does not build strength—it buries it. Men do not break because they are weak; they break because they are isolated. This brotherhood is where men break isolation and build resilience—inside The Kingdom Council 🏛️. Weight shared sharpens men. Weight shouldered alone shatters them.

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